#this is what I do when I'm avoiding what I should be doing....

[do-you-have-a-flag]

Text recounting of the full events below but oh my god please watch this person explain the wildest thing happening to them

[image text]r/trueoffmychest post by CptnSpaceCase

Today my aide cooked what should not be cooked

I have to get this out, because today feels like an actual nightmare I keep expecting to wake up from.

I'm disabled, and need help with stuff around the house. Today was the second day with a new agency and new home health aide, "Tina." I set it up so she would come by in the morning while I'm sleeping (insomnia is killer), and I texted her last night what I would need done today.

One of those things was to roast some precut squash I'd gotten so I could have it with my salads and pasta. I was very clear in my instructions: what it looked like, where it was in the fridge, how to use the oven, how to cook it. I also have a roommate who was up and told her she could ask them for help if she couldn't find anything. Or come get me if truly necessary.

Now, I have three pet ball pythons. They eat rats that I thaw from frozen in the fridge in a reusable plastic bag. Yes, that's where I'm going with this.

Tina couldn't find the squash, and so, obviously, that meant she should roast the first other thing she could see that was technically also encased in plastic, in a completely different area of the fridge. The FUCKING RATS. In butter and salt, in my nice baking dish.

And like, that's insane all on its own, but if you're going to cook any animal, you should at least clean and skin it first, right??? Like, do the crazy, disgusting thing properly so I can respect the effort, instead of sticking them in as is. Fur and guts and all.

And the smell. Good God baby Jesus the SMELL. It woke me up and had me gagging the moment I opened my bedroom door. Definitely not squash. Or food-smelling for that matter. At first I thought the squash had spontaneously rotted overnight and she'd tried to cook it anyway. That would have been slightly less insane and much preferable.

I had to pull it out of her what she was cooking instead when she said she couldn't find it (it was in plain sight), had to open the oven and see my snakes' dinners in place of my own and still couldn't process what the fuck was happening, what I was looking at and smelling. I don't like yelling at people and generally avoid it. Today was a day for exceptions. And at the end of my half-crazed, dissociative rant, I told her to get the whole dish and its contents and herself out of the fucking house. And to not come back.

Suffice to say, I've contacted the agency to report it and am requesting a new aide. Now I'm sitting at a cafe trying to calm down and eat something despite the scent memory that's taken up permanent residence and turning my stomach. The whole house reeks like musty, sewage-dipped pork that had been left out for a whole day before being cooked in rancid oil, and I'm not sure Febreeze is gonna cut it. I don't want to go home. 🫠😭

[geschiedenisish]

I mean. I agree.

But fare evaders are literally making things more expensive for the rest of us public transport users.

That's literally like not paying your insurance because "healthcare should be free". Yeah, that's the whole reason we pay insurance, to keep the price low. If you opt out and the rest of us don't, you're an asshole. Yes the rich should pay more, but still everyone should still be part of health insurance! You're an asshole if you opted out and still expect the same prices.

Or when you don't join a union because "workers should have good labour conditions". Yeah, that's what the union is for! If you want good labour conditions, JOIN A UNION. Don't expect to get good labour conditions when you don't even have the decency to join a union!

And don't feel good for evading public transport fares. You're literally making the rest of us pay more. Yes, it would be better if we did it through taxes. But as long as that isn't happening, y'all are being huge assholes by making the rest of US pay for services YOU use.

As long as we don't actually reform the system, you don't get a pass for breaking the rules. "Oh wow, we pay so you can use this service but don't have to pay for it." THE GOLDEN RULE IS STILL IN PLACE!!!!!!!!!! If no one payed, the service would be GONE. I guess that's what you want, supposing you follow the golden rule like the rest of us...... Or maybe you only think about yourself and don't realize what your behavior would mean if everyone did it......

(I understand some people can't pay. But that's absolutely no reason to excuse fare evaders. That's a reason to make it cheaper and/or free. Furthermore, how many people actually avoid fares because they can't pay versus the amount of people who do it because they get away with it!? I know the answer for the city I live in.... (Source; literally everyone around me. I'm the only one who pays because they never check it so no one does it. But I do it out of principle.))

But I guess you're not like the other girls. "You want the pleasure without the burdens" my father used to call this kind of behavior. Well be proud of your hypocrisy and unwillingness to follow the golden rule. We'll continue paying for the services you enjoy. Whether that's through taxes or through fares. WE'LL PAY. It's just the question whether you will or not. And how you'll feel about it towards your fellow users of public transport.....

[source]

[livwritessometimes]

At Least One Of Us Got Our Happy Ending

: Part 15 (Lando's Version)

: Spring Fling is finally here…that’s a good thing right?

: Prev | Next

: Series Masterlist

: Main Masterlist

: Author's Note - You can refer to Interesting *Cue Evil Laugh* to get the context for a certain part.

…

As Y/n and Lando watched Oscar pull his girl in for a kiss, she couldn't help but join some of their friends in hooting for the new couple. It was nice to see Oscar finally be with the girl he'd madly been head-over-heels for—Y/n could recall countless conversations they'd had about this. Smiling at the scene, she felt Lando pull her close to him, his hand resting on her waist.

"Should we get back to the table?" Asked Lando

Looking away from the scene in front of her, Y/n nodded at him and started leading him to their table.

There sat Max, one of Lando's friends who he constantly played games with, and his date.

Taking a seat, Y/n said, "It's so nice to see Oscar finally be happy."

"It is! I'm glad he came today," Lando said, looking at Oscar.

Max laughed to himself, leaning back against the chair he said, "I guess it's nice when things work out the way they're supposed to, huh?" He said, looking at Lando.

Lando narrowed his eyes at Max, "Max..." He said in a warning tone.

Confused by the exchange Y/n asked, "Wait, what's that supposed to mean?"

Max shrugged casually, taking a sip from the flask he had snuck in, "Oh, it's just funny how it all started you know? I just didn't think you guys would actually make it," Max finished.

Lando could feel his heart beating faster, "Max," He said again this time with hint of anger.

Y/n couldn't help but tense up, looking between Lando and Max. "What does he mean by 'How it started' Lando?" She asked.

"Oh nothing, you know how I am, I love to talk nonsense," Max said realizing that he might have said a little too much.

"Lando...What does he mean by that?" Y/n asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lando sighed deeply, his mind racing as he tried to find the right words. He felt angry—angry at Max for opening his mouth when it was not needed, angry at himself for agreeing to do such a stupid thing.

"Y/n..." He started, his voice hesitant. Reaching out for her hand, he said, "It wasn't supposed to mean anything...I had no idea that I would actually fall in love..." He said. He could see the dread wash over Y/n's eyes.

*flashback*

*present*

Y/n felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. All hope and dreams for an amazing night disappeared in an instant. She sat there in silence as she let Lando's words sink in.

"So I was just a 'Dare'?" She asked, still in disbelief.

Lando avoided her gaze, his throat feeling dry. "I—I never imagined that it would turn into this," He said. "At first, it was just a stupid dare, I was just angry about the complaint, but I never thought that..." Lando's voice trailed off. He was not sure what he could say or do to make any of it sound better.

Y/n could feel her eyes sting with tears, "So does that mean all this time, every single conversation we've had, every single moment we've spent together...It was all just a game to you?" Y/n said as tears trickled down her face.

"No!," Lando said suddenly, a little too loud for his liking. He tried to reach out for her hand, but she pulled away, "I didn't mean for it to be like that. It was just a dare at the start, I admit, but the more time I spent with you, the more I realized that I just couldn't continue. I was going to tell you, I swear Y/n," Lando said. "I just didn't know how...." He trailed off again.

"So if you hadn't "fallen in love" with me, would you have still gone through with your plan?" Y/n asked, her voice a mixture of anger and hurt.

Lando opened his mouth but no words came out. He didn't have an answer. Deep down, he knew that no answer would make things right. The damage had already been done.

Y/n stood up abruptly, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. "Congrats!" She spat, her voice filled with bitterness. "You've won your stupid dare. I really hope it was worth it Lando," she said as she started walking towards the exit.

"Y/n please wait!" Lando pleaded.

"NO!" Y/n said, finally letting go of the emotions she had been holding onto till now. "Don't you dare follow me. You've lost the right to do that," she said, her voice cracking at the end.

And with that, she made her way out of the hall, taking Lando's heart with every step she took.

…

Tags: @regalbanshee | @be-your-coffee-pot | @mrsbrxkkxr | @princessria127 | @moonraysandstars | @prettiest-at-the-party | @theblueblub | @magixpracticality | @slytherinholland | @overlyexcitedoutlaw | @marvel-at-stucky | @crumbssss | @a-beaverhausen | @felicityforyou | @gigigreens | @jas0nluvr | @khaylin27 | @imsiriuslyreal | @cwiphswmwasohmm | @wobblymug | @e-nonsense | @raizelchrysanderoctavius | @papaya-twinks | @vintagefucksstuff | @st4rg1rln | @redstappen | @iamred-iamyellow | @tashisgf | @ghost-of-student-sufferings | @saachiep81 | @lozzamez3 | @ravisinghs-wife | @elizamoe133 | @anthonylockwoodandco111 | @formulaal | @luvsforme | @annabellelee | @a-disturbing-self-reflection | @emryb | @grovelingmen | @illicit-affcirs | @iwilleatyourgod | @youre-on-your-ownkid | @originaldreamerdragon | @landorris | @mountvesuvu | @chezmardybum | @littlegrapejuice | @spitesfvl-blog | @juleshadalittlelamb | @vicurious28 | @niyu2208 |

[mj0702]

Whatever she needs 🔞

smut ahead ... minors do not read!!!

“Hola mi Amores” Jennis voice sounded a little darker through the screen of the tablet that was set up against the bedside lamp in the bedroom

“Hola Hermoso” Alexia smirked you cuddled into her side her arm holding you safely your face on her chest your eyes half closed

“Why so hostile Putellas?” your girlfriend asked mirroring Alexias smirk

“Pulling your shorts up so everyone sees your thighs...” your blonde girlfriend grumbled light hearted

“My girlfriends are far away... I thought I give them something to look at” Jenni shot back just as teasingly

“Hm... all them fans thirsting over your legs..” the blonde hummed pulling you more into her side

“Don't worry Ale... they can thirst all they like... it's your head that these thighs are wrapped around” the dark haired chuckled

“You better remember that the next time you flirt with these fans after a game... the internet sees everything Hermoso” Alexia grumbled adjusting her hold on you once again while you followed the interaction between your girlfriends half awake

“I'm yours and you know that” Jenni smiled softly before she redirected her attention to you “Why so quiet Cari? Not often you don't say anything”

“Hm...” you hummed into Alexias chest avoiding your eyes even more

“Cari?” your dark haired girlfriend now got a little concerned sitting up in her bed her eyes fixed on your delicate frame

Since you didn't really reacted Jenni raised her eyebrow studying your face as good as she could

“Ale?” the Madrista asked the blonde fishing for answers

“Our Cariño is a little sad today...” the blonde hummed calmly before she pressed a soft kiss to your hairline

“Sad... why are you sad Cari? Did one of these soulless Barcelonans said something to you?” Jenni now looked directly at you getting a little snort out of you before you pressed your nose further into Alexias collarbone hiding your face a little

“¿disculpe? Soulless barcalonean?? Who are you talking about?” Alexia exclaimed

“Batlle... Guijarro.... worst one... Coll” the dark haired one waved off “... but seriously Cari... what is bothering you?”

“When are you coming home?” you mumbled into the blondes chest hoping Jenni didn't understood what you said since you already felt stupid

“Oh mi Cariño... mi amor... mi vida” Jenni sighed her voice soft “... two weeks... I have three more games and the second the final whistle blows I'm on my way to the airport... promesa”

“No... you won the League.. you have to celebrate” you mumbled knowing when Jenni starts celebrating it can go on for days

“I don't care about the League....” your girlfriend kept her voice soft feeling how hard the separation is on you

“But you should celebrate” you said again this time with more insistence

“Oh I will Cari... don't worry... I will celebrate...” Jenni grinned wolfish

“Funny you'd say that...” now Alexia piped up

“You already planning something?” the dark haired perked up immediately

“Hm.....” the blonde teased “... not really... but our Cari had a question earlier and I said we – you and I – will provide her with an answer together”

“Oh?” Jenni looked at you confused but curious

“Hm... go on Cari...” Alexia nudged you slightly “... you asked me so you can ask Jenni as well”

“Nuh – uh” you shake your head slightly before hiding further in the crook of Alexias neck

“Cariño...” Jenni now prodded a little bit

“It's embarrassing” you mumbled

“It's not....” the blonde who held you rolled her eyes for good measure

“You know you can ask me everything Cariño...” the dark haired one said gently knowing sometimes you needed the extra caring other times you needed a more... dominant approach

“Ale...” you whined hoping your girlfriend would help you out

“Oh no... you wanted to know... you are going to ask Jenni” the blonde snorted

“But...” you kept whining

“Cari...” Jenni now chose the other approach her voice much more dominant which made you shrunk even deeper against Alexia

“No” you mumbled against the blondes neck

“Cariño... if you want an answer you have to ask the question first” the dark haired spaniard raised her eyebrow at you and you knew you were walking a delicate line

“Howdoesanalfeel?” you mumbled shutting your eyes embarrassed

“¿disculpe?” Jenni asked confused

“She wants to know what it feels like to have anal sex” Alexia blurted out getting tired of your actions

“How should I know?” the dark haired asked looking at Alexia confused while you groaned quietly “You can answer that... I'm not the one on my hands and kn....”

“Jennifer” the blonde snapped making you smile against her skin “... she asked for different reason you Idiota”

“Huh?” Jenni tilted her head before she realized what was happening “... oh... OH... I mean... yes”

“Finally” Alexia rolled her eyes before she started to smirk “... since I'm here and you are not... you can either watch or we could make a nice little clip of it...”

“I swear Alexia...” the dark haired growled “... if you dare to touch our Cariño without my permission you know you'll regret it....”

“You really want to punish her because YOU are in Mexico??” the blonde teased letting her fingertips stroke slowly over your rips

“She's a good girl... she'll wait... you on the other hand” Jenni warned her blonde girlfriend

“What if we wait with the new stuff until you're here but she's been so good and...” Alexia said softly hearing your little needy whine

“I'll know Putellas... if you touch her ass I'll know... and I will make you suffer for it..” the lanky woman growled but saw how much you enjoyed Alexias simple touch

“Yeah yeah....” the blonde rolled her eyes but looked at her girlfriend questioning

“Go on... it's been a while since I saw both of you come” Jenni flicked her hand in a “go on”-motion

“Wha do you want to see?” Alexia looked at her girlfriend gently prying you a little away from her neck

“Whatever she needs” the lanky spaniard said seriously while she watched how Alexia gently pushed you on your back

“You hear that Cariño?” the blonde started to press soft open mouthed kisses against you neck “Jenni is very nice to you... you'll be good for her sí?”

“Mhm...” you sighed closing your eyes enjoying the gentle touches your girlfriend provided

“Then be good and look at her... let her see” Alexia whispered in your ear her voice darker than usual

“Jenni” you whined as you opened your eyes again turning your head which resulted in two things

First – you saw how comfortable Jenni got against her headboard a slight smirk on her lips as she watched how Alexia pushed your shirt up and your pants down

Second – with you turning your head you showed your neck to Alexia who growled lowly before she licked her lips her eyes fixed on the soft skin

“Sssshhh Cari... Alexia will take care of you” your dark haired girlfriend shushed you gently smirking a little bit “Won't you Ale?”

“Sí... whatever you need Cariño” Alexia murmured still transfixed on your neck

“Need you” you whined needy trying to look at the blonde who immediately grabbed your chin turning your head back to look at Jenni

“Look at her.. not me” the blonde growled making you whimper

“She's not mad Cari... she's just in love with your neck... we know that already.. marking you every chance she gets – even after games” Jenni chuckled watching the interaction amused “Go on Ale... mark her as long as you can because you know when I'm coming home there won't be any of it”

That was the confirmation Alexia needed quickly leaning down biting into your neck harshly to point where you thought she drew blood. You whimpered closing your eyes after a few seconds of pain trying to get the blonde to ease up a little bit just to be met with a warning growl. Jenni on the other hand chuckled loudly seeing how easily she still can dictate the situation even from nearly 6.000 miles away.

“Ale” you said your voice low but Jenni could hear the pain

“Alexia” the dark haired one immediately jumped in with a warning knowing sometimes her counterpart could get lost in the sensation

“Hm?” the blonde looked up with a mix of annoyance and confusion

“Slowly” Jenni said seriously nodding toward you

“Lo siento Bebé” Alexia looked down at you apologetic bending down pressing a soft kiss to her mark

“Stop wasting time Alexia” the lanky spaniard warned

“You said slowly” the blonde shot back her attention quickly divided from you to her back to you

“Slowly yes... time wasting no...” Jenni bit out

“Hm...” Alexia hummed now starting to pull your shirt over your head leaving your chest bare the cool air in your bedroom letting your nipple harden immediately

“Finally” your made out Jennis voice through the screen making you open your eyes again seeing how she got even more comfortable

Alexia didn't let you dwell on the sight too much pressing a soft kiss in the valley in between your breasts before she kissed her way over to your perky nipple starting to gently suck on it her tongue applying little pressure to the nub making you moan quietly. Both of them knew even if you mostly let them use you however they please sometimes you just needed the gentle soft intimacy. Even more so when your mind was overwhelmed and you missed Jenni who always was a big support in your life. You came into their relationship when you basically were at your lowest both of them being big parts of your healing and getting back to yourself. Which made it even harder when Jenni took the offer from Mexico. Yes it provided you with another destination for when you needed to get away from the busy schedule Barcelona and the Nationalteam put on your shoulders but it still hurt every time you have to say goodbye to Jenni at the Airport. And every time a little more. Alexia was great yes she looked after you when she noticed you spiralling making sure you eat and rest enough. But Jenni made the House homey – filled it with laughter warmth and homemade lemonade.

“Cari....” Alexia pulled you back into reality with a soft voice “... are you with me?”

“Hm.. yeah sure” you mumbled

“You want this sí?” the blonde checked sitting back on her heels

“I... just” you said getting a little uneasy

“Ssssshhhh Bebita...” Alexias big hands now stroked over your stomach trying to ground you as she quickly glanced at the screen seeing that Jenni sat up more forward her face showing concern

“Jenni” you whined again as you grabbed one of Alexias hand intertwining your fingers

“I know Cari... I know...” Jenni said softly “... I miss both of you too... but Ales there to help you out a little bit okay... let her take care of you”

You couldn't really word your feeling so you went back to whining making Jenni smile with a little pity

“Ale.... clear her mind of all them haunting thoughts” the black haired spaniard nodded towards you making Alexia grin devilish

“My way then....” the blonde smirks pulling your pants down the rest of the way not letting go of your hand “... keep looking at Jenni Cari... be good for me and her and keep your eyes on Jenni”

“Ale...” you whimpered but you knew not to disobey her

“The only sounds I want this mouth to leave in near future are moans...” Alexia said strictly her free hand working getting your boy shorts out of the way

The second she achieved her goal her hand cupped your pussy the heel of her hand applying pressure to your clit making you moan out arching your back a little bit tightening your hold on her hand that held yours

“Exactly like this” the blonde praised you smiling “.... she's basically dripping Jenni... tell me Cari... is it for me or for Jenni?”

“You” you moaned out knowing it would only play into your favour feeding Alexias ego a little bit

“Hm... good answer Bebé” Alexia hummed replacing her hand by sliding her knee in between your thighs now her thigh pressing against your cunt

“She's just saying that because I'm not there” Jenni snorted but she slowly leaned back against her headboard

“You can't feel how wet she is Jenni” the blonde murmured against your skin as she kissed her way back up to your breasts “... only for me”

“Keep telling yourself that...” the lanky one snorted again “... you know she needs to be told what to do”

“What do you want Cari....” Alexia kissed your collarbone

“Wanna come” you moaned as you grinded down on Alexias thigh making her smirk against your skin

“You will Cariño.... I promise...” the blonde whispered “... but you know Jenni decides that...”

“Jenni please” you whimpered looking at her with puppy eyes

“No holding back Cari...” Jennis eye found yours and you could see how dark they got “... let Alexia make you feel good”

The second the dark haired was done talking Alexia captured your mouth in a hot passionate kiss pressing her thigh harder against your core making you moan into the kiss. Jenni hummed appreciative loving to watch the two of you. She knew Alexia was more than capable to take care of your needs what didn't stop her to give in her two cents once in a while

“Stop teasing” your dark haired girlfriend scolded Alexia lightly

She watched how Alexias free hand started to wander first stop was your breasts where she massaged the soft flesh her thumb flicking over the hard nipple making you whine into her mouth. The blonde pulled away from the kiss to get her attention back to your neck – Jenni always joked that if Alexia wouldn't be a professional footballer she'd be a vampire. At the moment you didn't care since you started to feel Alexia everywhere. Her large hand on your breast, her hot breath on your neck, her muscular thigh against your core, her other hand still holding your own. The blonde noticed the slight change in your body quickly glancing at Jenni smirking victorious causing the older one to playfully roll her eyes.

“Come on Cari...” Alexia murmurs against your skin “... I know you want to”

She pressed her knee more into the mattress intensify the pressure on your clit with her thigh making you moan out a whimper. Alexia rocked against your core once more to give you a little push to finally start getting yourself off on her leg. The blonde hummed pleased when she felt you rock carefully against her so you took it as a sign that that's what she wanted you to do. So you continued to rock against her upper leg getting into a rhythm while Alexia nuzzled against your neck letting you use her strong thigh to your liking.

“That's it Bebé...” you made out Jennis voice faintly to caught up in your action “... I knew you could be good for Ale and I”

That simple praise got a moan out of you your movement faltering for a second until Alexia got your attention back on track by slightly twisting your hard nipple. You immediately rocked back against her your breath coming out in panted breath while the blonde on top of you just did the bare minimum letting you take what you needed. She knew you would word it if you needed her to do more or even take over. Right now just the intimacy of the situation was enough for you as you feel the familiar and not unwelcomed warm feeling slowly starting to build. Your rhythm increased while you started to hold Alexias hand even more tightly silently telling her you were close and she started to press soft encouraging kisses against your neck

“Are you close Cari?” Alexia mumbled into your skin you confirming it by whining and nodding your head

“Come Cariño” you heard Jennis demanding voice and you did just that with Alexia pressing her leg firmer against your core making you arch of the bed moaning loudly

“Joder... I'll never get tired of that image” Jenni huffed as you sank back into the mattress and you could hear your blonde girlfriend whispering soft praises in your ear her body now complete covering your own

Jenni would never admit it out loud but being separated from you two was so hard for her. Not just because of the absolutely amazing out-of-this-world sex but also the simple daily things like going for groceries or just laying on the couch having a movie playing in the background with you complaining that you didn't understood a word because it was in spanish and you didn't speak it. Truth was you understood it quiet well and Alexia caught you more than once speaking spanish with Marta or Ona. So both of your girlfriends knew you just liked to complain about something and they just played into it changing the movie to english most of the times so you'll settle down in between them. So yes – seeing Alexia making you come when she was so far away not able to touch you was even more hard.

“You feeling better Cari?” Alexia asked you gently already knowing the answer before you could even shake your head

“Words Bebé” your dark haired girlfriend said seriously

“No” you panted out and the goddess on top of you smirked knowingly

“No?” Alexia smirked teasingly “What do you need Cari?”

“Need more” you breathed out trying to get a reaction out of your girlfriend by pressing your nose into the soft skin at the crook of her neck

“More? Are you sure you realize what you asking for Cariño?” the blonde raised her eyebrow at you but you just nodded

“She wants more Jenni....” Alexia looked straight at the other woman “... what do you say?”

“Whatever she needs Ale...” the older one shrugged her shoulders “... she asked for it – take what's yours”

“Hm... what to do with you Cari?” the blonde mused loudly “... should I just use my fingers? Or my tongue? Or should I get the strap?”

The images that flooded your mind made you moan instantly getting a chuckle out of your blonde girlfriend

“All of it? Sounds like you're in for quite an entertaining night Hermoso” Alexia chuckled darkly

“Then get going....” Jenni rolled her eyes knowing Alexia teased her on purpose “... you don't get any younger either”

That comment made the blonde bark out a laugh childishly sticking her tongue out towards the dark haired one before redirecting her attention back on you

“Lets show her who the better stamina has Cariño” Alexia smirked her hand already on the path downwards with the destination in between your legs

Alexia normally wasn't one for slow rather on the rough side of intimacy but she saw you were balancing on the edge of overwhelming so she held herself back gently working one of her long digits into your pussy. The moment you felt her finger entering you you moaned deeply letting her work her finger in and out of you until she felt you loosening up a little carefully pushing a second finger in. You gasped at the stretch no stranger to Alexias long fingers but after still being a little sensitive from your first orgasm it was a tight fit – literally. The blonde didn't see the point to even let you get used to her continuing to fuck you slow and deep. She hit all the right spots inside you making you moan and groan and when she hit that one spot you actually squeaked a little bit. Hearing your high squeak Alexia faltered for a moment before smirking

“That spot Bebita?” the blonde teased pressing her fingertips into the same soft spot again getting the same reaction out of you

She knew if she would continue like this she'd have you come in mere minutes but she wasn't in the mood for a quick orgasm. You already had one so this time she'll make you wait. The blonde started to fuck you harder and a little faster occasionally hitting that spot that made you melt but every time she felt you tighten around her fingers she went back to slow down and not so deep. You were on the verge of tears after the fourth time Alexia slowed down again your breath laboured when you started to beg

“Please Ale...” you begged desperately “... por favor Alexia”

“Qué necesitas Cari” the blonde teased you only her fingertips just at the entrance to your wet core

“Please Alexia... I can't...” you moaned out as she teased the inside of your lips “... I can't anymore... please”

“I know you can Cari...” Alexia smirked loving the way you were giving yourself to her

“No puc” you nearly slurred your words desperately

“Catalan... that's new... I really like it...” the blonde pressed a soft kiss to your lips “.... no t'atreveixes a venir sense el meu permís”

“Alexia... this is about her” Jenni now interrupted seeing how you came close to your breaking point “... not about you”

“I'm doing this for her” Alexia growled at Jenni “... I know she can hold out a little longer Jenni... I can FEEL it”

Jenni stared at Alexia for a second then nodded her permission for the blonde to continue

“You hold out until I allow you to come Cariño...” the blonde now growled into your ear “... if not you'll feel very sorry once Jenni comes home – I'll make sure of it”

With that she went back to push her fingers deep into your pussy making you moan loudly. Alexia kept her slow but deep thrusts half her hand covered in your juices by now but she knew she can make you come hard enough so you'd be exhausted enough to fall into a peaceful slumber afterwards without her pulling out all the stops which normally resulted in you not being able to properly walk the next day and you still had training to attend. When she felt you tighten around her fingers again she smirked knowing this time you would come with or without her permission and since this really was about you she made it easier on your mind

“She's so tight Jenni...” the blonde looked straight at your other girlfriend who still sat comfortable against the headboard in her own bedroom watching the two of you “... even if I tried I wouldn't be able to fuck her the way I wanted... she's too tight for hard and fast”

“Yeah? Talk to me Ale...” the dark haired spaniard played into the little game Alexia started

“Barely fit two fingers...” Alexia grunted using her upper legs to hold your legs open when you tried to close them trying to trap the blondes hand “... you see how she tries to trap my Hand... you know what that means”

“Let her come Ale... she's been good for you” Jenni smiled seeing how you tried to wriggle away from Alexias frame simply to get a break

“In a minute” the blonde said just moving with you so you wouldn't have the chance to withdraw from her “... no Cari... don't try to get away... you know you want... you know I ALWAYS get what I want out of you”

You felt Alexia pull you against her and pulled you up so you were sitting on her thighs her two fingers still buried deep inside you. She freed her hand from your iron like grip to get her arm around your back holding you up guiding you to ride her fingers. With the new angle it was even harder for you to hold back your orgasm and Alexia didn't help you by sucking a nipple into her mouth using her teeth to bite down carefully

“Ale...” you tried to push her a little away from you but as usual it was no use

“Come Cari...” the catalan growled against your breast as she pulled you down and pushed her fingers up roughly

You didn't really remember anything after her demand. Both women knew how to play your body like an instrument but this time Alexia provided you exactly with what you needed. You didn't remember screaming out her name. The way your body arched against hers. The strong grip that the blonde held you against her. How you slumped against her. When she oh so carefully withdraw her fingers from your dripping cunt. Next thing you remembered was how she gently laid you back down on the bed whispering sweet nothings trying to help you calm that ragged breathing of yours. You whined as she gently let go of you and left the bed for Jenni jumping in telling you how good you did praising you for letting Alexia take care of you. You whined even louder when you realized that the typical warmth of her body and the smell of her skin was missing.

“I know Cari...” Jenni said softly “... just two more weeks... and then you'll get everything you ask for... I promise mi amor”

Alexia came back with a towel starting to clean you up as much as she thought you needed. She didn't see the point in dragging you into the shower now as you both have to shower in the morning anyway. The blonde disposed the towel carelessly on the floor crawling back into bed pulling you against her your face immediately finding the crook of her neck. You felt so light and carefree that you relaxed against your girlfriend the second both of you got comfortable

“She already out?” the Madrista chuckled seeing how your breathing evening out slowly

“Not quite... but nearly” Alexia whispered pressing a soft kiss to your forehead “... she really misses you Jenni... we both do”

“I miss you too...” Jenni sighed “... two more years okay... I found my love for football again and I'm not ready to retire right now...”

“I understand all your reasoning Jenni... I do... WE do...” the blonde said seriously “... but maybe... something closer to us... closer to home...”

“I would die in the english weather...” the older one tried to lighten the mood “... France... been there done that...”

“They say Germany suppose to be beautiful in summer” Alexia teased back “... or Italy... Norway maybe?”

“Sweden... or Denmark...” Jenni thought out loud

“Jenni... lets be serious for a second... what about home?” the blonde turned serious again

“I can't come play in Spain Ale.. you know why? You would personally kill me if I go and play for Madrid... Barcelona made clear they don't want me back... and where else should I go? Levante? Eibar?” the dark haired one turned serious as well

“Well with you... maybe Madrid would get a goal at El Classico for once... Misa is there” Alexia said running out of ideas while you started to snore softly against her skin

“How does y/n always says... it's not Misas fault – everyone makes mistakes... what do you think she'll do when I start playing in white?” Jenni snorted

“We need you closer to us Jenni... it's killing her... it's killing me...” the blonde said her voice breaking a little

“I promise I'll look for a solution” the older one said softly “I promise Alexia”

“Okay...” the catalan nodded

“November transfers are soon... so maybe there's a chance there...” Jenni smiled encouraging “... how are you feeling... need me to talk you through it?”

“No... I can wait...” Alexia smiled knowing exactly what her girlfriend was talking about “... also our Cari would get so mad if she doesn't get to watch or help....”

“You seriously denying me giving you an orgasm because the smallest one would get mad” the dark haired one lifted her eyebrow in disbelieve

“YOU don't have to deal with her in the morning... she's grumpy anyway – if she notice we had fun without her she'll break someones legs...” the blonde said adjusting her hold on you feeling a little bit of drool on her collarbone “... and most likely mine”

Jenni barked out a laugh before saying goodnight to Alexia promising her to call the next day after she had a talk with her agent about potential clubs

“Té amo mi reina” Jenni smiled softly

“You know I hate it when you call me that” Alexia smiled even tho she could feel the tears in her eyes

“Why do you think I keep calling you that” the older one winked “.... Té amo Ale”

“Jo també T’estimo” the blonde whispered back “ho fem”

[aeghlorsyrants]

"Small" post annex to anyone who might see it: pay attention to your expiration dates very closely. I'm not sure if this is covered in the USDA link from the above part but I want to make sure all the bases are covered. What I will say may sounds contradictory to the above parts but it is not, it is here to help reduce food waste. There are 3 types of "expiration" lavels you may find on products:

USE BY: Self-explanatory. This is the actual expiration date, please avoid using the product beyond this point, as you *will* get sick

BEST BY: These are more complicated, but essentially, these tend to tell you when the product is best used by. It is not necessarily an expiration date, and the product can still be usable usually up to about a week past this date. USE YOUR BEST JUDGEMENT WITH THESE. If it has mold, smells weird, looks off, or seems wrong in any other way, please do not eat it. From what I can tell these are usually used on dry foods but I have been seeing them more often on all varieties of foods.

SELL BY: These are especially tricky. These labels are meant for the sellers, not the consumers, and usually come on easily perishable items like milk. They tell the sellers how long they should keep a product in stock so that the consumer can have the optimal time of freshness after buying it. These are not expiration dates, and are usually anywhere between a week and a month before the real expiration. Although this can be used as a reference, please do not use this as your final judgement. If the item in any way seems wrong (especially if it's dairy, even a slight sour smell cam indicate it has gone bad), do not use it.

I hope this annex was informative to anyone who read it. Understanding different types of expiration dates is a valuable tool in preventing food waste and keeping yourself from getting sick. It's especially valuable because most food products will only use one of the above labels, not two or all three. Since you've gotten this far, also avoid buying any non-dry (or even many dry) foods (such as canned goods, mests, dairy products, frozen products, etc) that have very damaged looking containers. Avoid milk and canned goods which have dents in them. Thank you for reading all this if you did.

im losing my mind

[gotta-winwin]

2019 debut year <> what is his problem?

word count: 2.1k TW: a bucket of snark, cold wonwoo, mentions of bullying, swearing italics are in english, bolded words are in mandarin

౨ৎ ─── ─── ──౨ৎ─── ─── ──౨ৎ─── ─── ──౨ৎ

"Mingyu!" Cyana yelled from across the living room, her leg propped up as she sat icing her swollen ankle.

The boy in question slid into view, stumbling a little for balance as he grappled with the slippery wooden floors. "Yes, princess?"

Cyana made a little face at the nickname. "Can you charge my phone for me please? I left it in the kitchen and I can't stand up." She pouted at the mention of her rolled ankle. "And I thought I told you not to call me that."

Mingyu let out a deep sigh. "It's fitting though, don't you think? You are seventeen's princess." He poked her ankle gently. "Look at me, waiting on you hand and foot."

She sent him a glare. "You're the reason I'm like this." She let her upper half crumple dramatically onto the couch.

Mingyu had came rushing into practice this afternoon, colliding into an unaware Cyana, who had just been trying to leave the room for water. Everyone had chalked it up to the fact that Mingyu only ever looked parallel to his height, and could not see Cyana below him.

"I've already apologized." He whined, leaving to grab her phone. "You're even sleeping over so I can take care of you. Seungcheol said it was my punishment. You know only special people can ever enter the Minwon residence."

She scoffed. She noticed she was unnaturally riled up today, annoyed by the pain and inconvenience of not being able to walk. "Special, my ass."

"Hey." Mingyu stared at her from the doorway, having been on his way to grab a charger for her phone. He sent her a frown. "I understood that."

Cyana stuck out her tongue in retaliation, smiling to herself when it got a loud laugh from Mingyu. She watched him walk out of view, probably to his room to grab his charger.

They really had started to feel a little like family, Cyana realized as she sat there, with nothing to do but to ponder. She wouldn't have ever expected to be enjoying small moments like this, despite her ankle still throbbing. She also wouldn't have ever thought this job would be anymore than purely working. She never imagined she'd make friends, let alone call 13 boys her family. Well, 11 boys, she correctly ruefully. Woozi had been refusing to speak to her since the Hug BPM incident, although Cyana noticed he had changed it to be 138. Wonwoo was another one who seemed to be doing everything under the sun to avoid her, despite them literally being under the same roof right now. He had helped Mingyu move her from the car to their couch, gave her a look over and retreated to his room.

She let out a huff. She'd been here for nearly two months now, and comeback season would begin in less than two weeks. Wonwoo or Woozi (preferably both) would have to get their shit together sooner or later, before fans began to notice and shit started getting stirred.

Mingyu knocked twice on Wonwoo's door before entering. The last time he had walked in unannounced, a controller had been sent flying his way.

"Wonwoo hyung~" He called, reaching over to move Wonwoo's headset slightly off his ear. "Can I borrow your charger?"

Wonwoo frowned, blinking at Mingyu, his eyes adjusting from the bright screen back to reality. "Why?" Mingyu's phone wasn't adaptable to his charger head.

Mingyu waved the lilac phone in his hand. "Cyana's phone."

"She's got you charging her phone for her now?" Wonwoo muttered, getting up to grab it from the floor next to his bed. "Puppy."

"Hey!" Mingyu protested indignantly. "Her ankle's injured. I'm just helping. Like you should be doing."

Wonwoo frowned. "Why would I?"

"She's family."

Wonwoo scoffed. "She's not family. Family is the people who were there with us in that fucking lime green room."

Mingyu cut his eyes at the older boy, disappointed. "Cyana's a good person. You'd know if you'd just give her a chance."

"She's a ticking time bomb, Gyu. You need to realize that." Wonwoo's shoulders sagged as he sighed, handing over his charger. "She's going to blow up our comeback either way."

"You've been talking too much with Woozi hyung." Mingyu decided. "One skeptic's enough in this group."

"She's got 11 cheerleaders and knights-in-waiting already." Wonwoo quickly countered, sitting back down and putting his headphones back on, clicking open a new game. "I just don't think we'd get along."

Mingyu rolled his eyes. "She's literally you, Wonwoo. Down the a T." He groaned when the older boy gave no reaction, the headphones blocking his words. "Aish-" He slapped the back of Wonwoo's head gently. "Idiot."

Returning back to the living room, he plugged the charger in the outlet next to Cyana and handed her her phone. "You better thank Wonwoo later, it's his charger."

Cyana groaned. "Why~ Couldn't you have just grabbed yours?"

"My charger doesn't fit your phone, nana." Mingyu frowned. "Did something happen between you and Wonwoo hyung or what?"

"What do you mean?"

Mingyu took a seat next to her, hands reaching over to bring her injured foot into his lap, massaging her ankle. "Just mean that there has to be a reason you hate each other, that's all."

"I don't hate him, Gyu." Cyana sighed. "I just don't like being where I'm clearly not wanted."

"I'll talk to him."

Cyana shook her head. "No, no. Don't make it worse. It's okay, Gyu." She patted his arm. "Wonwoo not liking me isn't going to destroy me. As long as he hides it well during recordings, we're fine."

"He's my best friend though~" Mingyu whined. "I want my two best friends to get along well."

Cyana let out a shaky laugh, hit by a sudden jolt of pain when Mingyu pressed on a particular spot. "Sadly we don't always get what we want." She squeezed his shoulder. "Really, though. It's okay. I still have more friends than I ever had before."

He frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged. "I didn't really have friends growing up, is all. I was busy."

Mingyu looked at her sadly. "That's not good. Childhood friends are the best. You didn't make any at school?"

Cyana thought for a little bit, reaching over to move Mingyu's fingers to a certain spot where she felt like the pain was the most. "I had some friends in Vancouver, but once we moved to LA, everyone kind of already had friends. So it was awkward to join them."

"Oh." Mingyu couldn't wrap his head around the idea that Cyana didn't have friends in LA. She was so comforting and funny and pretty and good.

"They were all mean anyways." Cyana shrugged off the heaviness that the memories had brought her. "Not very friend-material."

Mingyu nodded. "I guess." He was still sad though, imagining lonely baby Cyana in the middle of a busy and large LA.

Sensing his sadness for her, Cyana offered him a bright smile. "I have you now. And Shua. And Kyeomie, and Boo, and Chan, and Vernon." She began counting them with her fingers, earning a smile from Mingyu. "And Hannie, and Hoshi, and Jun, and Haohao, and Seungcheol." She paused. "Well, kind of Seungcheol. I don't know if we're there yet." Looking up at Mingyu, she smiled. "But still! That's a lot of friends."

"I'm glad." Mingyu could only say, although his eyes said a whole lot more. I'm glad you have us. I'm glad you see us as your friends. I'm glad you're our friend. My friend. Cyana's grateful smile told him she understood.

The next morning, Cyana woke up in a stranger's bed. She sat up, frowning when she didn't recognize the bedroom she was in. Mingyu's bedroom did not have pretty LED lights coming from the ceiling, and last time she checked, he didn't own a gaming station.

"Get up."

Her eyes widened at the sound of Wonwoo's voice. She turned her head to look at him, leaning on the doorframe of the connected bathroom.

"What?" She mumbled, still deciding whether or not it was all a dream. It had to be, for on what planet would she wake up in Wonwoo's bed?

"I said get up." Wonwoo sighed, pushing himself off the doorframe to grab his coat from the foot of the bed. Sensing her confusion, he bit back a tiny smile. "You and Mingyu both fell asleep on the couch last night. I brought Mingyu back to his bed but found you couldn't fit comfortably next to him so I brought you here." He threw his coat on, grabbing his keys and phone as well. "I slept outside on the couch, don't worry."

Cyana's face flushed. It didn't go past her that this was the most words Wonwoo had ever spoken to her. "Sorry." She moved to get up. A large hand stopped her, grabbing her shoulder.

"Sorry." Wonwoo mumbled, releasing her. "Your ankle."

"Oh." Her face flushed again. "I think it should be fine. Mingyu's pretty good at physical therapy."

Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, Cyana stood up, gingerly placing weight on her bad ankle. Wonwoo stood a couple steps away from her, ready if something were to go wrong.

"It's fine." Cyana gave him a tentative smile. "Thanks. You could've just left me on the couch." She had definitely expected him to.

"Maybe I should've." Wonwoo muttered. "Hip Hop unit's got practice early today. Breakfast's on the table. Don't call. Don't burn the house down. And don't touch my things." He left the room without another word. Cyana heard Mingyu's voice from the distance and could hear the front door shutting behind them.

She blinked, frozen. She didn't know whether to cry or celebrate that Wonwoo had finally acknowledged her presence. His actions and words confused her greatly. It was i put you in my bed and slept outside so you can sleep well and then shout loudly to wake you up followed by a got you breakfast ending with a i don't trust you in my house.

She sighed, shaking her head. Boys.

Although her stomach grumbled, she opted to skip breakfast. Her stylists had complained that she wasn't fitting the skirt they'd made for their stage performances, despite it being not her size at all. She supposed it meant she still had a long way to go before she would look good onstage next to the members.

Looking around the room, she was able to properly see Wonwoo's place for the first time. It was clean, she expected nothing less from him. Everything about him screamed clean.

The computer hummed with life despite it being off and it was surrounded by photographs and equipment. She smiled when she spotted a photograph of what looked to be young seventeen, huddled together in the midst of their trainee years. There was also a few photos of a dog, who she assumed was Wonwoo's back home. There were books as well, overfilling the shelves that lined the far wall. That was something Cyana could relate to, although these titles were all in Korean instead of English. She found that she missed having books to read. It was hard to find anything good in Korea that she could understand.

She could've spent eternity in Wonwoo's room just looking at things, trying to decipher a person she desperately wanted to know. Her phone rang however, startling her.

"Hello?" It was their manager.

"Oh. Manager oppa. What's going on?" Cyana frowned. The manager rarely called them, schedules and changes were usually relayed through text.

"We have a couple company higher-ups who want to see your improvement before the comeback, Soyeon-ssi. I'm sorry to spring it on you now, but they'll be at Pledis soon. Could you come over quickly?"

Her blood rang cold. "Oh, uh- yes. I'm at Mingyu's right now. I'll be there in 10 minutes."

"Great. No need to panic, Soyeon. They just want to know if you're ready."

That was the thing though. Cyana didn't think she was ready. Sure, she'd been practicing with the others, learning techniques she hadn't learnt in LA, but she still wasn't as polished as the others. She couldn't quite grasp the concept of levels and angles, although she tried her hardest knowing it was essential to Seventeen's famed synchronization.

Rushing out of Wonwoo's room, she threw on the first hoodie she found in Mingyu's room before rushing to leave, locking the door behind her. Waving down a taxi, she sent prayers to all the gods she did not believe in that she'd pass whatever test they were giving her. She wanted to debut. She needed to. She wasn't about to let herself be sent back to LA. Not when she had family here.

author's note: ahhh! thank you so much for reading! things are about to get intense (,,>﹏<,,)

[throesofincreasingwonder]

Actually OP's advice is very helpful, and I genuinely think it's worth considering. I get how it could be interpreted the way you describe, but I think it's a bad faith argument to say that OP is 'telling disable people to concede that they suck and are wrong all the time.' Instead, we could think of it more like an "I feel" statement. By reframing your apology as 'action → feeling → action' the way OP did, you take ownership of what you did while also helping the other person avoid triggering that response again. This is a lot more helpful than saying 'I have x, so y.'

They also aren't mutually exclusive! If you think that someone being aware of your specific issue would be helpful to you or them in the future, you can make them aware of that without just offloading your apology onto your disorder or disability.

To use the example above, you could easily reframe "Sorry I snapped when you and your friend spoke at the same time, I actually have sensory issues." as "Hey, sorry I snapped at you earlier. I have sensory issues, and when two people are talking to me at once I can get really overwhelmed, which sometimes makes it hard to regulate my feelings. I'm not mad at you, and I'll try to make you aware earlier or remove myself from the situation if I'm getting to that point of overwhelm in the future."

The latter makes for a better apology (the specific situation OP is trying to give advice about—sometimes you may not need to apologize, but this post is about when you feel the need to do so) for several reasons. Firstly, it gives a specific triggering action to the other person. You included this in the above example, which is great, but took it out of the revision ("I just hate the sound of your voice"). It's important to recognize that first revision is not including the technique OP is employing here.

Second, it takes ownership over your actions. There are obviously some symptoms of disability that you cannot control, and therefore should not need to apologize for (or at least apologize for in the same way as other actions). That mention of convulsing is a great example, because it's and involuntary physical response. You shouldn't apologize for convulsing unless it hurt the other person, because generally apologies cover actions you intend to do differently from here on out.

But there are other actions that you are responsible for, and that you need to take ownership over. Yelling at someone in OP's post is a great example; RSD may mean you can't control feeling of betrayed or hurt, but it doesn't make you yell at anyone. That is an action you have control over and can change in the future. You have every right to have that feeling but not to attack others, which is what the apology is for.

The reason OP's apology structure is more useful than just explaining symptoms is because it focuses directly on the action you're apologizing for. When you apologize only by telling someone your behavior is a result of your disability, it can make it hard for the other person to respond and shut down further conversation. An apology that focuses on actions instead sets clear expectations for both yourself and the other person going forward, and opens a dialogue about what you can both do to avoid that situation in the future.

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

[harrowing-of-hell]

Harrowhark fully intended to go back to her body and consume Gideon's soul at the end of HtN.

I think the first time through, the ending reads otherwise, especially after what Dulcinea tells Harrow about something— potentially Gideon— controlling her body. But paying attention to some key details in that final section very clearly tells us otherwise:

I do think that she genuinely considered staying in the River as the Canaan house bubble collapsed, but instead she says no. She declares to herself that she's going to leave, as if almost to give herself the strength to do so.

She's already considered the options she has if she wants to avoid destroying Gideon's soul. None of them even slightly guarantee that she won't just end up back in her own body and destroy Gideon's soul anyway, because of the fact that a soul is naturally drawn to it's own body.

So, in spite of what Dulcinea tells her, she chooses to go back to her body because there are genuinely no other options left to her; it's either go back to her own body, or potentially go mad in the River and end up back in her body anyways. From what she knows, there is nothing else for her body to inhabit. There are no other known options but the two presented to her by Abigail.

That's why I think that if it was genuinely Harrowhark's intention to stay in the River and give her body up to Gideon, the narration at the end of HtN would've been very different.

It'd be weird if the narration didn't fully and clearly acknowledge— with all the repercussions that come with the choice— that yes, she was choosing to subject herself to the madness of the River to give Gideon's soul a chance.

So she chooses to go back, but when she leaves the Canaan house bubble, what happens next isn't something she expects. She's not buoyed up and out of the River and returned to her body.

Instead, she ends up pulled somewhere else:

She ends up pulled to the Locked Tomb. Or rather, some River dream bubble version of the Locked Tomb. There is a very obvious detail to show that this is not the real, physical tomb.

The altar is empty. Alecto's body is missing, even though we know for certain that her body should still be there.

So we know this is another dream bubble or something like one. But why doesn't Harrow awaken in her own body, if that's where she actually intended to go?

Because someone else is already in it:

Harrowhark couldn't wake up in her own body because Alecto had already taken her place.

We know this both because Gideon literally sees Alecto and knows she's come to take control of Harrow's body, but we also know this because Alecto's body is absent from the Locked Tomb bubble.

The chains being snapped and broken in the dream bubble represents the fact that Alecto's soul has escaped its prison, even though her physical body still lies in the real version of the Locked Tomb on the Ninth.

Importantly, her body is taken over by a soul much larger and much more powerful than hers, so Harrow can't necessarily force it out even if she wanted to. So with Harrow's body already occupied, Harrow's soul follows the only other link it could, which is the link that she's already established with Alecto's soul. That's how she ends up in the Tomb bubble.

But it is important to make it clear that Harrowhark's soul is still attached to her own body and she's not completely unmoored in the River. The final paragraph of the chapter hints to this:

While we don't know the specifics of the fight or how it even happened in the first place, we do know that Blood of Eden fights the Nine Houses. This is when they lose Gideon's body, and come into possession of Harrowhark's.

The side-to-side rocking like an explosion is mimicking what her body is experiencing in the physical world during the fight, and "faraway in a land she had never traveled" is meant to represent how her body is now on New Rho.

I'm convinced that what's going on between Harrow and Alecto in NtN is similar to what's happening with Palamedes and Camilla.

Harrowhark's body is still hers, and she's still there in some manner. But she's being superseded by Alecto, and for some reason unknown to even her, she's content to let it happen:

Personally, this course of events is a lot more interesting than Harrow purposely deciding to stay in the River.

In fact, the survival of Gideon's soul is only really possible because of some unpredictable quantity that no one was aware of— Alecto.

Alecto taking control of Harrow's body and giving Harrow's soul something else to inhabit in the meantime is quite literally the third option that Harrow was desperately trying to look for, and maybe that's why Harrow subconsciously decides to let Alecto stay in control and instead she goes to sleep in the Tomb!

It's just a more interesting read that more readily incorporates all the details the text provides us with. It paints a clearer picture of what's happening at the end of Harrow the Ninth, rather than just saying "Harrowhark chose to abandon her body for Gideon and remain in the river. Somehow, in the process of doing this she ends up in the Locked Tomb completely by accident."

My final read of it is that Harrowhark really did intend to go back. But as a consequence of Alecto's interference (whose interference was possibly to keep Harrow alive), she was given another chance to save Gideon's soul.

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

Hey bestie, dropping by with a mea culpa. When Peaceful Property started, you expressed concern that GMMTV was inching toward a model of using bl pairs in shows that would avoid being explicitly gay but still draw on shipping fandom to be successful. Coming off The Trainee, which was not a bl but did have expIicitly queer characters and romance subplots, I wasn't sure the intentions were quite that dark for PP, but having now finished it and seen the way some in the production have interacted with shipper fans, I have to call it: you were right to be concerned. At no point was this show ever a bl and none of its principal characters are canonically queer, but they successfully leveraged the TayNew ship to have fans interacting with it as if it was in fact a gay love story, that idea and fan commentary was explicitly encouraged by the creators, and the show has been quite successful despite never actually delivering on all the TayNew bait. I'm definitely concerned that we might have somehow swung back around to queerbaiting being seen as acceptable and good, as long as it features popular branded pairs. I don't have any bigger thoughts to offer about how this should be addressed, but just wanted to come back and say you were valid for naming that!

Thank you. I didn't want to be correct. And I am still hoping to wrong about what this says about where GMMTV is going.

But I am not gonna lie, seeing the posts about the finale did regnite the massive fury I had at this project when it was first called a bromance. So I am going to use your ask as an opportunity to vent.

FOR THE RECORD: I am not mad at you, or at the people and mutual on my dash that have enjoyed the show and are claiming as gay out of spite. My anger is at GMMTV and at GMMTV alone.

THEY DID THIS SHIT TWICE ALREADY!!! Back to fucking back.

I know High Schoool Frenemy is being watched by like 5 people on tumblr. But it's doing well outside of tumblr. They are using bl style fanservice with the 2 main boys of that show. I have seen the shippy content and compilations along with the other bl couples. Not to mention people like Jojo saying those characters are the his new favorite ship on twitter.

AND I AM SO PISSED!!!!

I am glad you brought up TayNew because there is no doubt in my mind that they used TayNew for Peaceful Property as a test. They knew there could be backlash. They knew the bl fandom could have rioted. But they also knew that if it that rage would have been directed at TayNew not at the director, not the company but TAYNEW.

And I think TayNew knew this. Because they spend weeks on social media doing preintive damage control, I have seen the posts of them (or at least New) saying it wasn't going to be romantic. I don't think the two of them forgot how they were left to eat the shit alone over the bullshit backlash during the TayGun kiss situation with GMMTV doing fuck all for them.

And what pisses me off is that BL audience didn't even give a backlash. They eat that shit up like it was fucking icecream.

The BL audience is literally doing their job for them. They are taking a show with some gay subtext and running with it.

They are showing up for the fanservice (again broder audience outside of tumblr), and gleefully closing their eyes and ears and saying well I Think It's Gay.

What do you think Mega Corporation GMMTV is going to take from the success and no backlash? If the answear is anything but: We can produce half of the BLs as usual and make the rest Bromances, you have more faith in corporations then I do.

Because Bromances can be watched by non BL audiences as well. The BL niche is a big one, but it is still a niche.

And now they won't even have to bother inserting arguable quality gay commentary or struggles or homophobia. Or any gay kissing, no more workshops. No more worries about how effective these potential straight boys are going to be at playing gay. All they have to do is making them do fanservice, and they are great at training people for that. Or better yet, actually use one or two ships that have kissed before and done actual BLs.

Will they stop doing BL at all, obviously not, you gotta give the BL audience something to remind them they can still show boys kissing, and we have the Ex Morning and Jojo that will never actually stop making BLs and some gay shit. But if in the next line up we will more bromances, and eventually we get half BL and half bromances I wouldn't be surprised.

Of course maybe I am just pessimistic and cynical. Maybe the proto bdsm in the heart killers is enough to persuade people that I am totally wrong. I guess we will see about that.

Thanks again for the ask and the oppurtunity to vent a little. Again I don't fault anyone for enjoying this, it was design to get the BL audience watching.

I will personally be keeping with my own resolution and never watch another gmmtv show live ever again, maybe binge the few that sound interesting and that's it.

At least I can find comfort in the idea that that other companies do not have the same level of BIG cast of boys and big budget to do the same thing and follow in the bromance trend.

[lazyalani]

| Michael Kaiser × F!Reader

| open ending, bittersweet, mixed signals, situationship, mihya doesn't know what to do, reader just wants him, oh shit toxic, a rollercoaster, impulsive writing, ooc, might be bad but might be good, fast pacing, idk, not proofread, wushu angst

| You're losing me

| Blue Lock Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

and i wouldn't marry me either

The clock read midnight yet here you are, still awake. It wasn't like it was uncommon for people to stay up so late, anyone could stay up all night watching tiktoks and reels, or playing games. It was just that you weren't exactly doing any of those, here you are, watching the ceiling, waiting for him. Always just waiting.

It's always like this, a never-ending cycle of cursing him, but then waiting, and then cursing him again, but then when he comes knocking again, you open up.

You've always been someone reliable when you're asked questions, especially ones about that bastard. Why is Michael Kaiser so good at soccer? Talent. Why is Michael Kaiser so popular with girls? Genetics and Money. Why is Michael Kaiser always on the news? Arrogance. Why does Michael Kaiser always has a say on something? Ego.

Why does he come to you instead of heading to his oh-so luxurious mansion he flawnted with his huge ego along with the piles of money on his account? That one, you couldn't answer.

You swear under your breath when you hear a knock.

And yet you let him in anyway.

a pathological people pleaser,

"Mien leibe, how are you, love?" He says with that sickly sweet smile on his face as he enters and puts his coat and training bag on the couch, a routine you've gotten used to.

The routine also included you just melting into his arms as he sinks in into your bed, enjoying a few moments of his ego ranting and then falling into silence before falling asleep.

But not today.

"Michael, why don't you go home for today?" You say as you turn your back on him, busying yourself with the fridge to avoid his stare.

He laughs and sits down on the couch. "Oh? What's this all of a sudden?" He crosses his legs, spreading his arms on the backrest.

You grip a drink on your hand, still having your back turned. "Just, you should go home."

Because the routine also included him leaving before you wake up, without anything, a note, or something to hold on to, and then proceeding to live out his career, his life, where you couldn't be, where you don't belong. Soccer, victory, celebrations, promotions, advertisements, brand deals, partnerships, modellings, media. Models and media.

who only wanted you to see her

You didn't even know where you stand in this glorious life of his. Why is he even here with you? Why is he sitting on this cheap couch instead of his throne like home? Why does he come to you instead of those models the media claim to be his girlfriend that changes every brand deal and sponsorships?

Why you?

But then it's hard to divert and change your thinking because it changes to Why doesn't he stay here with you? Why doesn't he say a word when he leaves? Why does he even leave? Why does he only come at night? Why does he not clear things up in the media? Why do you even want him to clear it up when you have nothing together? Why is he with those models?

Why not you?

and i'm fading thinking

do something, babe, say something,

He laughs it off. "I'm already here, you want me to leave again?" He snorts.

It wasn't his fault you were so insecure. It wasn't his fault you were being selfish. It wasn't his fault you were being demanding. It wasn't his fault you're assuming things. It isn't his fault because you knew those peaceful nights would eventually come to an end.

But then again, you were tired. So be selfish again, and so you want to stop and rest. You didn't want to play this mind game anymore, it was draining.

You can't fight a losing game. But it was humiliating to think that you were the only one fighting, just to still lose.

Somehow, you knew deep inside he had reasons. Reasons only the closest to his heart would understand.

This empire he was living in was something he built from a rock. The lavish and luxurious life he lived now was something not even the sun and moon could offer him, because this was a result of his blood and sweat. Nothing could ever come in between him and his most treasured gold, his empire, he cannot afford to lose it now. Not when he endured so much just to get to the top. You knew that.

And you were a threat to that.

You were something forbidden. A normal nobody who stood nothing against the world he belonged. You would ruin his image. You would ruin him. He cannot afford to have you. Not fully, atleast, which leads to your current, toxic situation.

lose something, babe,

risk something,

He can't bring himself to choose, huh?

Then you will decide for him.

A few moments of silence passed by, you let him process and sink that you were serious.

You hear the couch squeak as he switches his position on the couch, you finally turn to face him.

His arms propped on his knees as he leans forward, staring at you, as if discerning and trying to read your expression, your mind.

"Mien leibe," He slightly moves his head to side. "you should rest."

You let a smile slip as you stare at him.

He was always the same. Silky blonde with streaks of blue at the end, tattoo on his eyelids, the charismatic aura around him, handsome face, striking features, attractive body and voice. You never questioned how you fell for him. Because you knew who he once was behind the elegant facade. Before the money. Before the fame.

But it seemed like this was the life he was meant to live. This was the life he deserved. And this life didn't have you in it.

Putting down the drink, you approached him and bent down infront of him, cupping his face with your two hands and caressing his cheeks with a smile on your face. "Mihya, you've always been handsome, hm?" You slightly turned his face to sides, as if inspecting him. "I've always, liked your eyes." You whispered, voice almost too quiet. "The fire inside them never seemed to burn out."

His face hardens as he grips your hands and suddenly stands, pulling you up with him as he drags you to your room. "You're sleepy, love, let's go to bed." He says, face hard as stone, his grip hardening each second.

You stick your feet to the ground to stop you both. "Mihya, I'm tired."

"I know, that's why we're going to sleep." Before he drags you again, you hold his hand that was holding your other wrist.

"Michael, let's stop."

you're losing me

He chuckles humorlessly. "The only thing that needs to stop is your rambling, mien leibe. You're just tired from work, come on, let's sleep." He tugs again.

"Michael, I love you."

He stops and laughs emptily again. "Mien leibe, why are you doing this?"

"Mihya, I love you."

He shakes his head, eyes burning.

You cup his face again and press your foreheads together, his forehead on top of yours. "My precious Michael Kaiser, I love you."

You felt a tear drop on your cheek, but it wasn't yours.

Your heart contracted painfully seeing his red stained eyes.

"Why are you crying, my love?" You wipe away his tears with a smile.

"What are you saying all of a sudden?" He touches your hands on his cheeks.

"Is it wrong to say it infront of the one I love?"

"Stop saying that."

"Infront of my love?"

"Mien leibe, stop it."

"I love you, Kaiser."

"Stop it."

"Mihya, I—"

He grabs your shoulders and looks at you. You can't seem to read his expression. Is he mad? Angry? Sad? Disappointed? Furious?

"What will it take for you to stay?" The shake in his voice betrays his hardened face.

You shake your head. "Michael..."

"Do you want me to spend the day with you? Do you want to go out? Do you want to watch movies and eat all day? I'll fucking clear my schedule if that's it."

You kept shaking your head, tears falling with his.

"Do you want me to get on my knees and beg?"

You let out a sob when he drops on his knees and hold your hand.

"Stand up, Michael Kaiser!"

"Don't do this to me, mien leibe." He presses his forehead on the back of your hand. "Please..." He whispers against it. "I can't lose you. Not you."

"But you can't lose everything either." You say, dropping on your knees with him.

choose something, babe,

i got nothing to believe

You craddle his face with your hand.

"Please don't make me choose, I can't... I can't... I can't..." He kept shaking his head and repeating the same words.

Your heart contracted again at his desperation.

"I can't do this without you, mien leibe, but I don't want to go back anymore. I don't want to go back there anymore. Don't do this please, please, please, please..."

You were the only reminder of his past that he couldn't throw away. You were the only one who knew the real him. You were the only one who's genuinely proud of who he's become. You were the one thing no one could ever take away from him. But not if you were the one solely and willingly going away.

"Look at me, Michael. Are you not the greatest in this world? You've been strong, you can be stronger than this. You can be greater, even better, you don't need me. You never needed me, Mihya."

No, you were wrong. He thinks. But he can't get the words out his mouth. So many things circulating in his mind, he cannot even think anymore.

"You don't have to choose, Michael." You kiss his forehead. "I'll choose for us."

He stands up and leads you in the room, this time, you come with him. He lays you on top of him, enjoying a few moments of silence just like before.

You bring your face up from his chest to look at his face.

It was scarily devoid of anything, but the gentle hand on your hair calmed you.

Your rose up from his chest and brought your face above him, arms pressed on he sides of his head.

He stares up at you, fingers combing through the locks of your hair falling down, acting like a curtain, still devoid of any emotion.

You press a kiss on his lips, he presses you down further to prolong it.

"Once you've decided to settle down and finally have your peace, Michael..." You whisper against his lips.

He blinks at you, face still empty.

"Find me in the future, and maybe, maybe, we wouldn't have to be in another life."

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88]

This.

The look of abject surprise (and maybe even a twinge of horror?) I received when I told my medical team that I did not, in fact, want to harvest some of my eggs on the off-chance chemo blitzed my ovaries, so that I could have kids later was...astounding.

I'm 35. I've known I didn't want kids since ~20. And that was with growing up with a baby doll always in my arms, fantasizing about being a mom. As I've grown older, though, I've realized a couple things. Number one, I have no patience for what I've heard and witnessed several people dealing with, related to raising a child. It's a huge responsibility, whether you still manage to have your own semblance of a life along with it, or not. It's not something I believe I could deal with well, for the sake of the child. As a kid who was raised with a very emotionally volatile mother, who demanded and expected perfection in nearly every way, and for me to be a mini-adult from day one, with 'transgressions' punished severely, I've...got some trauma and insecurities, and I'm nowhere near through processing them enough to even begin to think I could avoid passing that trauma on to my child. Even the risk of doing to an innocent child what my parents did to me is something I absolutely refuse to consider.

Number two? (And you all are more than free to judge me, or call me selfish for this one) after 10 years living on my own, doing my own thing, when I want to do it, etc, I really just don't think I'd adapt well to sharing my space with anyone. This includes a husband, to be honest, though I'm sure for the proverbial 'right' person, I could maybe make it work. But kids, through no fault of their own, are big into not really respecting personal space, or even comprehending what that is, and why it's needed (even for them). It's yet another thing I doubt I could handle, and I absolutely will not risk dimming a child's light, their curiosity, their joy by turning into my mother, and insisting that they be perfectly mature, self-sufficient, and above all, silent. Sure, maybe I'd be fine. Maybe I'd adapt. But the concern is far too great for me to be comfortable risking it, assuming I'd change, and then finding out, to the child's detriment, that I was wrong.

It's often so, so much more than just "oh, you haven't found the right guy yet, you'll change your mind." And we really, really need to start normalizing that.

The personal reasons for not wanting/having kids should remain just that. Personal.

It isn't anyone else's business, nor is it their right to try to change your mind.

stop telling your teenage daughters who say they don't want kids that they'll change their mind

[bekolxeram]

And I really want to talk about the controversy surrounding the Bucktommy breakup.

Is it biphobic? Is what OS said biphobic? Well, they personally gave me the ick, but again, plenty of more knowledgeable people have written detailed posts about this topic, so I'm not going to comment on that.

I'm inclined to believe what OS said was not deliberately malicious, just in an extremely bad timing.

I've seen many asking us to give OS the benefit of the doubt, but I ask them to do the same for the fans who felt betrayed.

The American election result was a shock. One day you thought people around you had the decency to vote for your rights, for their own rights, the next day you were left wondering who in your life was willing to sacrifice your wellbeing to possibly enrich their own, who in your life were just agreeing with the masses to avoid condemnation.

People were defeated and emotional to begin with, adding the breakup to the equation made it worse. 8x05 showed us a very good sign in regard to their relationship, we were all waiting for 8x06 to be an escape for our dire situation.

It turned out to be one of the most cruel and gut wrenching breakups in recent TV history. Of course people are frustrated, sad and sensitive. Of course they're going to ask you to clarify yourself when you joyfully proclaim that your character should just fuck around with all genders in response to a breakup painful for many fans. In reality, Americans may not even have the freedom to fuck around in the near future because of project 2025.

In a way, it's not about the ship, or the show, or OS. It's about the uncertainty, the fear of immanent crack down on basic human rights. The episode and the interviews were all done before the election, so let's just agree that it's a very unfortunate timing. As long as you don't directing take it out on the actors or others behind the production of the show, you can resent them all you want, you don't owe them anything. But I'd advise you to cut the fans some slack, especially the American ones, it's been a tough week, and it seems to keep getting worse.

[himluv]

Oops. My hand slipped. Here's more Lucanis and Spite.

Under the cut, because, well. Spoilers.

In the weeks since escaping the Ossuary, Lucanis had hardly slept. Partly to keep Spite from taking over his body, but also to avoid the dreams. He'd spent enough time in that prison, he didn't need to relive it in his sleep. So, he was awake to hear the dining hall door open and the pad of bare feet across the stone floor.

Rook. Spite said.

It was impossible to tell the hour in the Fade, but Lucanis knew everyone else was bunked down for the night. Even Bellara had eventually quieted down after tinkering with her archive for hours after dinner.

It was late.

Too late for Rook to be scrounging in the kitchen.

With a sigh, Lucanis stood from his cot and went to investigate. Sure enough, when he stepped out into the dining hall, he found Rook standing before the fireplace, a half-eaten piece of jerky in one hand. She stared into the flames, so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard his door swing open.

Lucanis watched her for a moment, indulging in the sight without fear of being caught. Mierda, she was gorgeous. The firelight gleamed in her violet-tinged eyes, her auburn hair shining in the flicker of flames. Not for the first time, Lucanis felt the urge to run his fingers through her hair, wondered what it might smell like if he buried his face into it.

Campfire and berries. Smoky sweet.

At that, Lucanis cleared his throat, rousing everyone from their various thoughts.

Rook startled, then gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

He gave her wry look. "I never sleep."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Never?"

He shrugged and leaned one shoulder against the fireplace. "Not if I can help it."

She frowned at him. "Lucanis—"

"But," he continued, ignoring her disapproval. "You should definitely be sleeping."

She glared at him, a promise that they would talk about his insomnia at some point, then sighed. "I was asleep," she said. She ran a hand through her hair, a movement Lucanis could not look away from.

"Bad dreams?" He asked.

She nodded, her gaze back on the fire. "I keep seeing Minrathous." Her voice was barely more than a whisper, as if admitting it would conjure the memory right there in the dining hall. "And Neve," she added.

"Neve?"

She nodded, opened her mouth, then seemed to think better of whatever she was going to say. "It's nothing," she said. "A stupid, persistent dream."

"Rook—"

"It's fine, Lucanis." She glanced at him, gave him a half-hearted little smile that still managed to make his heart clench. "I'm fine."

In that moment, the distance between them felt wrong. Rook was hurting and everything in Lucanis wanted to comfort her. She was obviously not fine, but then, neither was he. What comfort could he possibly provide?

Broken, Spite whispered.

She must have read his silence as acceptance or, Maker forbid, dismissal, because she shook her head and sighed.

"Good night, Lucanis."

He frowned, knowing he should say something. Do something. He just could not figure out what. This was the longest they'd been alone together since their almost-kiss, and Lucanis was no closer to knowing what to do about his burgeoning feelings than he'd been then.

Coward, said Spite.

"Rook," he called as she reached the door.

The room was darker that far from the fire, and he could just make out the gleam of her elven eyes as she looked back at him.

"You take good care of this team," he said. "Just... Don't forget you're a part of it, too."

She stood there, watching him for a long moment, then nodded. "Thanks, Lucanis."

And then she was gone, back out into the courtyard and hopefully to her quarters to sleep. Lucanis was, again, alone with too many thoughts.

Smooth, Spite said.

Well, too many thoughts and an opinionated demon. That was as alone as Lucanis could get anymore.

He sighed and rubbed his face. "Coffee," he said. Coffee could fix anything.

Not anything. Not you. Broken.

"Perhaps," Lucanis said as he set to preparing a cup. "But, at least I will have coffee."

Spite growled, then mumbled, smells bad anyway.

"You're a terrible liar."

Spite roared and gnashed his teeth, then settled as Lucanis went through the familiar ritual of brewing coffee. Besides the bath, watching coffee brew was the best time to think. And he had plenty he needed to think about.

This demon, for one. Despite being surrounded by talented mages, not one seemed to understand his possession, let alone how to undo it. They told him that non-mage possessions were rare, but possible, so not so strange after all. What was strange was that, according to his new friends, he didn't seem all that possessed.

By all accounts, Lucanis should be dead, his body morphed and twisted to the demon's will. But, here they were, demon and man together in his body, neither of them in complete control.

The other experiments in the Ossuary all succumbed to their demons, becoming the abominations one would expect. But not Lucanis, even after a year of torture and torment.

Zara, Spite hissed.

Fury boiled up in Lucanis as Spite tried to take control. It was a now familiar feeling. A twinge of pain in the crook of his neck, a gathering tension at the base of his skull. If Spite kept pushing, eventually that fury would pound behind Lucanis's eyes, an incessant demand for control.

Now was not the time.

"We will find her," he said, voice soft and sure. He poured the fresh coffee into his preferred cup, a gift from Rook. "And when we do—"

Kill. KILL!

Lucanis sipped and hummed his pleasure, both at the taste and at the thought of sinking his dagger into that Venatori witch's heart.

Yessssssss. Soon!

On this, at least, he and the demon agreed. Zara's painful death could not come soon enough. Rook might be an uncomfortable question mark in his life, but his vengeance against Zara?

That was a guarantee.

With that comforting thought, and Spite temporarily appeased, Lucanis took his cup back to his cot and settled in to imagine all the ways he would hurt Zara Renata before he killed her.

[kpop-cakepops]

Hidden (Kim Mingyu X AFAB!Reader)

Description: angst. You get in a fight with Mingyu :,)

Warnings: slight cussing.

(Haha, not me writing after years of inactivity 😂😭, enjoyyy. Also, this is not revised, so excuse any grammar errors)

It wasn't that you were jealous, not even insecure... it was envy. There you were, sat in the loneliness of your bedroom, tapping through the private Instagram stories of your boyfriend at yet another function. His friends sat at a large table, enjoying their time with him. Time you were missing out on. Time that could have been yours, too.

With a dejected sigh, you drop your phone on your bed and get ready to hop in the shower. The stories had been posted 2 hours earlier, so it came as no surprise to hear the front door of your apartment open and close followed by your boyfriend's heavy footsteps coming in the direction of your bedroom.

You quickly busied yourself looking through your closet for your pajamas until you finally heard him enter. He smelled faintly of alcohol as his warm hands came in contact with your hips from behind. "Hi princess"

"Hey" your response was curt and cold and you knew you were being petty, but there was not a single fiber in you telling you be nice.

He noticed. He always did when you were upset. A sigh left his lips, and he stepped back, allowing you out of his hold. "What did I do now?"

You gave him a quick glance. He was now sitting at the edge of your bed watching you closely, like a math problem he was in a hurry to solve. "Nothing. I'm just tired" he could continue trying to solve it for all you cared.

If only Mingyu were the type to back down.

"Clearly not just 'nothing'" he insisted. "You're upset at me."

"I'm not doing this right now."

"If you don't want to fight, then at least do a good job of acting like everything is ok." now he was upset too. A small part of you wanted to blame yourself for doing this again, but the bigger part of you was hurt and felt left out. Things that a girlfriend should not feel about her boyfriend.

"Where were you tonight?" You finally met eyes with him only to have him roll his at you.

"Seriously?"

"That doesn't answer my question" you insisted.

"I went to have drinks with some friends, it's my day off." He finally conceded. "I didn't invite you because I thought you'd be busy-"

You can't help the scoff that leaves your lips, "bullshit" you interrupt. "Bullshit, Mingyu. You know my schedule. You knew I took today off- shit, I took today off for you and not one single call from you? Not even lunch?"

"Babe, it was a party for Lisa, and we all know you two don't really-"

"Holy shit, that's the excuse you're going with? That it was a party organized for Lisa, who I don't really talk to? At least fucking try to make sense, Kim Mingyu." You had said you weren't insecure, but you started to realize slowly that maybe you were insecure. This had never been an issue to you before Mingyu, you had never felt less than, you had never felt...

Hidden.

"Y/N I was just trying to save you an awkward time-"

Your eyes locked into his guilty black ones immediately, and as if by instinct you knew. "Mingyu, do they know about us?"

He stopped whatever bullshit excuse he was giving you, lips parted and eyes tearing away from your gaze immediately.

You hadn't been together for too long, but definitely long enough for his friends to know, surely. You had told all your friends by the time you'd been dating for 3 months, it would make absolutely no sense for him not to tell his friends after being together for 5 months... right?

"You know my friends know-"

You dropped the clothes in your hands and stomped up to him, shaking your head furious, "No, I know your members know. But what about your friends? Do they know that we're dating? Or am I correct in assuming that you are hiding me?"

You were met by silence. He avoided your gaze and stood from the bed turning his back on you, a hand tangled in his hair. "This is not how I thought tonight would go. I can't believe you're doing this right now."

"You're embarrassed of me?" You didn't mean for your voice to tremble the way it did. You hadn't even realized that your eyes were threatening to spill frustrated tears down your cheeks.

Your boyfriend flinched at the sound of your voice, but he didn't have the courage to face you. "Y/N..."

"Is it because I don't look like one of your super model friends?" You ask, "Or is it because I spend 40 hours a week holed up in an office? Or maybe because I live in an apartment that's the size of your walk in closet?"

He turns to look at you defeated, "Baby no-"

But it's too late. The seed of insecurity within you has germinated, it's grown roots, and they're spreading and wrapping around you at the speed of light. You can no longer keep eye contact with him. In an attempt to hide your tears, you pick up the clothes you'd dropped and start walking past him in direction of your bathroom.

His large hand grabs at your arm softly, "Y/N, please, let's not do this."

"I think you should go home. I have work in the morning." With a soft tug of your arm, his hand drops, and you lock yourself away in your bathroom, pressing a wrist to your lips, hoping that's enough to hide the choked sobs you'd been suppressing for weeks.

[factsilike]

I'm sorry, but this is.. such an incorrect post on Lan Qiren's character I don't even know where to begin.

Lan Wangji did not defend a "demonic cultivator" who caused deaths in their society (WWX never even used demonic cultivation, he used gui dao). He defended a man who's been relentlessly persecuted and slandered for protecting the innocent, the innocents those bloodthirsty and revenge obsessed cultivation world wanted to kill, for daring to be better and more powerful than them. WWX was not in the wrong for defending himself against those genocidal maniacs, and Lan Wangji knew that, hence why he protected him. And why he was the only one to do so. And he did not deserve to be whipped for that.

And Lan Qiren was there on the night of that Pledge. He also was one of the people leading a siege against the innocent Wen Remnants in the Burial Mounds, and the people who slaughtered them. And the book clearly paints him as the one who is completely in the wrong for that.

As for the rules.... your words implying that 'old Asian people' are only ever abusive in their strictness? Playing into stereotypes to defend abusive behaviour? Really? "Oh Asian people are just like that, guess that makes it okay that all these adults feel comfortable whipping children! It's just the setting you see, corporal punishment was the norm then!"

To say that Lan Wangji is exactly like his father and hence these rules are there to enforce his behaviour....what even? We are never told in the novel what crime exactly Madame Lan was imprisoned for, but it is very much implied that she should not have had to spend the rest of her days locked up for it.

To think that Lan Wangji would enforce such a fate upon WWX, have you even read the novel? Lan Wangji lost control and kissed WWX once yes, but he also deeply regrets it and never touches WWX against his will again. He beats himself up for it, and moves on. In fact, he flat out knocked himself out when he was drunk so that he wouldn't do anything untoward towards WWX, even WWX was the one who kissed him. You think that is the behaviour of a man who "needs" rules to keep him in check? Implying that all Lans are what, savage beasts who will go wild on others without rules? Rules like "do not keep pets" help them how, exactly?

Not only do you have a deep misconception of Lan Qiren's character, but also Lan Wangji's. And WWX's too, for that matter. Please read the book again.

As for the incense burner dream, I cannot emphasize this enough- it is a fantasy. A dream that never happened in real life. Partners in sexual relationships have fantasies about each other all the time, it is normal. And the dream is not something that actually affected WWX in reality, because it is not something LWJ would ever actually do in reality. Also, LWJ wasn't even the one dreaming about that, WWX was the one who goaded him and gave him said fantasy fuel when they were messing around in the bushes. It was not something 15 year old Lan Wangji was fantasizing about at all, rather their adult selves (in a perfectly healthy and happy established relationship) were discovering their mutual con non-con kink through that dream.

Do you remember the classroom scene? The scene very famous for showing Lan Qiren's blatant favouritism and classism? Notice how Lan Qiren has his prized nephew show upto class to show him off to the other disciples. Notice how Lan Qiren praises Lan Wangji for giving a correct answer, and rebukes WWX for the same thing by saying he is already expected to know the answer. Notice how WWX sees through his petty BS pretty quickly and decides he doesn't need to deal with that. And Lan Qiren's very telling response. Because everyone knows that the marking of a good teacher is when they toss a book at a student's unconventional answer and throw them out of the classroom. What a brilliant man.

Also, Lan Qiren never gives WWX a chance, they just mutually avoid each other after Wangxian's marriage. Did you forget that Lan Qiren was the one who established the new rule "Do not go near Wei Ying" in the extras that forced the juniors to avoid him? Isn't that telling of how precarious WWX's situation would be if it weren't for LWJ? The difference in social power between them is scary.

Imagine yourself in Wei Wuxian's shoes. Imagine how you are all but an outcast in this hypocritical world, and there are no shortage of enemies who want you dead. Imagine you marry the love of your life, and move into his very hostile clan, a clan that has already shown that they are happy to turn you over as a scapegoat. Imagine your spouse's bitter relative can't accept your relationship to the point that he cements his hatred for you on a rock, that serves as the foundation for the clan's teachings, so they're all obligated to now avoid you.

"He allows them to have sex-" oh how very generous of him? As if Lan Wangji would have any hesitation moving out of his clan if his uncle tried to enforce his marital rights. This one seems kinda nonsensical and grasping at straws to defend him.

Sure, he may have led the clan in his brother's absence for many years. Does that make his many moral failings better? Also, first he's a great and amazing leader for the Lan Clan, but it comes to defending LWJ he's suddenly a weak hapless man who can't do anything but bow towards the whims of hypocritical old men who demand that he follow their hypocritical rules? I don't know why so many people refuse to hold these morally reprehensible characters accountable for their own actions and bend over backwards to defend them. "They simply had no choice! They just had to slaughter all these old people, women and children, you know!"

And we don't see him be nurturing or kind to his nephews in any way, at most he seems their strict teacher who expects them to be perfect at all times. If you remember, at the end of the novel right after the Guanyin Temple fiasco, he was very much planning to drag Lan Wangji back to his sect and force him into a seclusion to "fix" him. Wangxian, probably being aware of Lan Qiren's hostility (it was nothing new), wisely left him and the cultivation world behind to clean up their own messes, because they were done doing so. They'd been apart long enough.

Lan Qiren's role in the story, like some others, is that of a weak, unrighteous man who stepped aside and allowed genocide to happen because his beliefs were steeped in classism and hypocrisy, and he had no interest in changing them. He is not an old and exasperated man who yells at WWX because of his shenanigans, but because he pathetically takes his anger on his mother (a woman who has been dead for more than a decade) out on her child. It's sad that fandom misconceptions have caused such a drastic change in the perception of his character, like so many others. People refuse to accept antagonists as antagonists.

Okay here's my Lan Qiren apologist masterpost

"He had Lan Wangji whipped! He's an abuser!"

That was Lan Wangji's punishment for injuring 33 Lan elders while defending a demonic cultivator who caused innumerable deaths in the cultivation community. You need to remember the setting of this story: Madame Yu whipped Wei Ying half to death just because she went "you didn't do anything wrong, your general existence is just mildly annoying to me." Lan Qiren deciding Lan Wangji get one lash for every person he hurt is NOTHING in comparison to the punishment he would have gotten if anyone else was in charge and it was the only way to clear his name.

2. "The Lan sect rules he enforces are too strict."

First of all, Lan Qiren is an old Asian person. I feel like that would be enough to make my point, but I will continue regardless.

The Lans have so many rules because they have extreme self-regulation issues when it comes to their emotions. We've seen Lan Wangji's dad ruin his life by trying to atticwife his lover, but Lan Wangji wasn't any better. If you've read the incense burner extra you know he got his first crush at 15 and his brain immediately went to fantasizing about violently assaulting Wei Ying in the library. Their hundreds of rules are stifling because they're supposed to be. If the Lans don't try to contain themselves they will ruin their lives and the lives of people they care about.

Is "don't talk while you're eating" even that extreme of a household rule? Like every family has some variation of "don't do ____ at the dinner table" and the Lans having their own version is not that insane.

3. "He was against Lan Wangji loving Wei Wuxian."

I need you to spend like. 2 minutes putting yourself in Lan Qiren's shoes.

Imagine you are Lan Qiren. Imagine you find out your brother broke his family apart by forcing his wife to stay with him. Lan Qiren was just a man who was thrust into not only taking care of the Lan clan, one of the biggest cultivation sects you can think of, but also his two traumatized nephews. Imagine cleaning up the mess your brother left you while having to raise two children that aren't yours.

Then you see your nephew, who you have raised like your own son, helplessly pining after the infamous demonic cultivator who has rejected him and teased him. You watch him turn against and injure his own family members to protect a literal criminal.

Then he comes home holding the child of the man he loves and you let him keep that baby and raise him. Because you see yourself in him. You see someone who just lost a loved one who was not a good person but someone you loved regardless. How many times do you think he saw Lan Wangji raising Lan Yuan and remembered himself raising someone else's children because their father was no longer there?

And then after all that Lan Qiren had been through, he didn't even try to keep Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian apart once he found out the truth. When Wei Ying explained how he'd been set up, he was one of the first elders in the cultivation community to give him a chance to explain himself. And after that even if he was cold to Wei Ying, he didn't say shit about the two of them having nasty loud gay sex in gusu every night.

I don't care. Lan Qiren hate will always be forced to me, he did literally nothing wrong and if I was in his shoes I would not have been able to handle it

[lu-is-not-ok]

I just finished reading your hong Lu npd analysis post!!! And it was great!!! I’ve been going over his lines from previous cantos with this new reading in mind and it’s been very insightful

I was just wondering how we should interpret this one line from canto 6 in the npd reading? i don’t have the direct quote on me but basically Ishmael says something to heathcliff like “hey why did you pick on hong Lu for being a spoiled rich kid when you grew up in a manor yourself”

and hong Lu says something like “hehe I don’t mind it at all!” which confused me a bit since other times it does seem to bother him when people discuss it like you said

do you think he genuinely means this?? Or is this like a lie (conscious or unconscious?) to protect his self esteem?? that’s what really gets me with hong Lu - idk how self aware he is of his deflections and avoidant behavior? Like obviously he is probably blatantly lying in some cases (like about why he left home) but other cases idk?

Also thank you for your analyses! You’re really feeding the hong Lu fans myself included

o7 I'm glad people are enjoying the analysis. Hong Lu is a character that really grabbed me with just How Well Written he is as a liar who happens to be good at what he's doing. The way he navigates social encounters is genuinely so interesting to pick apart, I love it.

Anyway, regarding the moment you're talking about, these are the specific lines.

There's a few ways one can read that I think.

For one, it could be him responding to specifically the hypocrisy that Ishmael is highlighting here - that he doesn't mind the fact that Heathcliff was being kind of hypocritical when bullying someone for being rich despite being raised in a rich household himself.

It makes sense. Hong Lu, more than anyone, would probably understand why someone would hate rich people despite being raised among them, so he doesn't really care about the seeming contradiction of that.

There is also another option, that being the fact that all things considered, Hong Lu might just find Heathcliff's particular brand of insults genuinely funny rather than offensive. There are multiple moments where Hong Lu actively teases Heathcliff, with one moment in Hell's Chicken having him actually confirm that that's what he was doing in that scene.

Hong Lu isn't above fucking with people sometimes just to get a reaction out of them, with Heathcliff appearing to be Hong Lu's most common target of that. Him saying he doesn't mind Heathcliff's insults could be because he genuinely finds them so entertaining that he doesn't register them as something harmful to his self-esteem.

And of course, there is that third option of it being just a bullshit lie and him simply trying to keep up the air-headed unbothered persona he's been projecting the whole time. After all, this isn't him being directly insulted here, but simply recalling past events - and it's a lot easier to lie about your past feelings than it is about the ones you're feeling in the moment.